THERE’S a spiffy new tool up on The Guardian‘s website that lets people play chancellor and choose which departmental budgets they want to cut. I think The Gruniad should get plenty of kudos for this sort of thing – it’s a novel way to present serious issues. Whilst many people accept cuts are necessary in a fluffy, abstract sort of way, it’s another thing entirely to have to go in and actually take an axe to the budget knowing that you could possibly be ballsing-up the entire (virtual) economy.
In the real world, the Government’s spending review was slightly less severe than many had feared (though that’s a bit like telling a chap who’s just had his hand mangled to look on the bright side because he’s still got a stump). Instead of the 25% cuts some predicted, departmental budgets are being cut by an average of 19% (which is actually less than Labour’s proposed 20% cuts – though the figures are greatly disputed). Of course, some are arguing that cuts shouldn’t be made until the economy is on stronger ground – whilst others, charmingly, argue we shouldn’t be making cuts at all.
Personally, this goblin is of the opinion that budget-cuts do indeed have to be made – not just in Britain but across Europe – and sooner rather than later to avoid another Greek-style crisis. Much (though not all) of Europe is horribly uncompetitive, and if we don’t get our house in order then interest-rates will spiral out of control on government borrowing and, before you know it, countries are defaulting willy-nilly. The question, of course, is then whether or not Osborne has made the right cuts. Well – Eurogoblin decided to play chancellor and fire up The Guardian‘s budget tool to find out.
First up, I’m off to the Department for Work and Pensions – a substantial pink square representing the biggest departmental budget by far. Let’s see what we’ve got… increase state pension age by a year to save £10 billion? I’ll have that. Sadly, it means I’ll be working longer than my parents’ generation to pay off their debts. Lovely. It’s an issue that has sparked off fierce protests in France, but it’s also unlikely to prove a political flashpoint in the UK.
Now, what’s next? It’s off to the Ministry of Defence, axe in hand! I’ll assume that the government is correct when it claims that buying both the planned new aircraft carriers is cheaper than scrapping one of them. Instead, I’ll axe two squadrons of new Typhoon fighters for a saving of £5.4 billion. I’ll make it up by concentrating on increased defence co-operation with the French – they can provide the planes and we’ll provide the ships. I’m not finished with the MoD, though – I’m going to scrap the existing Trident nuclear deterrent now (but keep working on the replacement) for a saving of £1.6 billion. It will mean a capability gap until the replacement comes online, but I don’t believe a nuclear deterrent fits the sort of threats Britain will be facing in the short term (I can’t say what the situation will be in ten years, however).
Finally, I trim all the other budgets by 10% – leaving the Northern Ireland budget and office alone (I fear the economy – along with the peace process – is too fragile there). I also assume that the NHS and the Department for International Development have both been ring-fenced by campaign promises. However, I do freeze the NHS pay increase scheduled this year until next year, saving £3 billion (though I suspect this rather temporary measure will be politically difficult).
How does Eurogoblin’s budget compare with Osborne’s? Well, the average departmental cuts under my budget are only 10%, compared with 19% in the real world. The MoD faired badly beneath my scissors – with Britain temporarily transformed into a non-nuclear power and with a question-mark over its ability to operate independently of French or American support. However, only two programs were ultimately cut – leaving the army, for example, the same size. The NHS pay freeze is my most dubious decision (made to fill up a £3 billion black hole in the budget) which will probably lead to industrial action and is only a temporary “sticky-tape” measure until next year. Let’s hope nobody notices.
Interestingly, I got a similar result with The Guardian‘s tool by cutting all budgets (except the NHS, Northern Ireland spending, Northern Ireland office and Department for International Development) by 10%. This would mean, I think, a larger cut for some departments (such as Defence), but – on average – much less severe cuts across the board.
Of course, this is all ridiculous. It’s a game – not a serious spending review. The entire model is flawed – for one thing, payments to the EU are not represented (by offering the option to cut “subscriptions” to the UN and EU at only £0.18 billion, it suggests the EU is much cheaper than it in fact is). A person couldn’t possibly work out a better way to balance the budget just by playing this game. However, where it can help us is by forcing us to think about these issues and to consider which areas of public spending are most important to us and why.
So, that’s Eurogoblin’s alternative UK budget. Whilst I’m playing chancellor, why don’t you lot play parliament? Being a generous sort of chap, I’ll give you a vote on the budget, and we’ll see if I can’t sneak it through the House of Commons.
How do you vote on Eurogoblin's Budget?
- For (64%, 29 Votes)
- Against (36%, 16 Votes)
Total Voters: 45
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